Impact to Family & Friends

I get a lot of email from people who can in some way relate to my situation and story.  A lot of these emails are from family members or friends of those falsely accused.  While they usually share the story of their loved one with me, they almost always talk about the impact this accusation has had on their family.  Because of this, I am launching a new section of the site where my family and friends will be sharing their involvement in the process, and how this ordeal has affected their life, from their own point of view.

The first story of impact will be shared by my mother, “Marie”, who plans to add her two-cents in to other portions of the story as well.

20 thoughts on “Impact to Family & Friends

  1. Daphne says:

    Close family and friends helped us get through. We liquidated a retirement account to get the best attorney in the state. We read through the arrest report and related documents and through doctor appointments, we were able to prove that the girl was describing someone else’s private parts. We also had a forensic psychiatric eval done on our son to also substantiate that he was not capable of the alleged actions. It took one year to have all charges dropped in superior court due to all the positive evidence we had refuting the girls allegation. It then took a second year to have DCF drop everything because the state courts and DCF do not communicate-so of course we needed a second attorney. We spent a total of $35,200. My son and myself have been in counseling for about a year to help with the trauma of the whole “Nightmare” as we call it. We avoided stores and restaurants in town. Luckily, it was not a huge newsmaker and was only in a police blotter once. The mother, is known in town for being a tramp that cheated on her husband for three years before he divorced her. She than slept her way through the ambulance, fire and police department. I would love to give out her name but will not do it in print. When I do speak with people about it now, I do use her name.

  2. bonnie says:

    Well i feel I this is been pretty hard on me n my son girlfriend, my son who is 31 has been accuse of falsely csc back in feb 2013 my son is ADHD n doesn’t understand alot of stuff n stuff like this court n jail he don’t know anything about, but he has a good lawler, now but the his stepsister has accused him she has always looked up at him my son has never been in trouble with the police he has had 2 strokes n has not been doing well with all this false crap going on with him his girl friend has surzuires n we thought they were at bay but since all this has came down on them shes having 3 to 4 aday or more, n me I have (ms) n tremors n Iam tremoring thur out my body were before it was only my head , but this stepdaughter has put me thur alot when she lived here with me n her dad but she has moved to her real mothers n since then she has tryed to OD herself, n that was her real mothers fault, but this stepdaughter tryed to tell her dad that she thought she would take it to the grave with her n thats when she said my som did that to her, well shes since then had 4 to 5 more excuses for why she TRYED to OD herself, plus my she said it happen in 2001, then changed it to 2003 n 2006 then changed it again to 2003 to 2006 its not right I had to go on depression meds i couldn’t eat i couldn’t hold my own fork my hubby tryed to feed me it just couldn’t be done , i only have 1 child, and hes my son n he does deserve to be somewere for something he didn’t do, n my hubby to the daughter all he can say is hes not getting in the middle of it it doesn’t seen fair to me cause it seems like then he believes his daughter n when i talk about the neat things my son did or does he looks down to the ground, n he has told me i shouldn’t pick sides, well excuse me but I only have 1 kid n I will stick by him all the way his own father isn’t here to help him, n his stepdad isn’t helping him either n I won’t give up my rights as a mom for my son never!!!!!, I cry alot n pray. But I would like to start a support group to help people who are falsely accuse n help their familys n friends cause it will help me to n it will be ok to cry thats what group is for someone who understands

  3. AH says:

    My husband has just been accused by my my daughter of touching inappropriately. I know in my heart of hearts this could not be true. She is mentally ill and is on medication. Has been hospitalized twice once before the supposed incident happened. Don’t know what will happen next. I am praying that she will recant. This is very scary.

  4. Marcelline Taylor says:

    Very helpful

  5. Alison says:

    I just cry thinking about everything and reading all of this. My dad just went through this sick “hell”. My parents took on a baby from someone incompetant of being a mother. they raised this child for 7 years and all the sudden the dad of the child and DHS filed charges against my father. my father is a wonderful man. Has had no trouble in his life, just a wonderful citizen. The charges finally were dropped and we are trying to get his life as well as ours back. it is the hardest thing we have ever been through. Something has got to be done against all involved. One of the hard thing for me is I was molested at the age of 12 and the law never protected me nor did they do anything to my molester. but yet they can take an innocent man and drag him to the losest of his being and thats just life? I want to take a stand and do something about this and stop this from happening to the innocent and prosecute the truly GUILTY ones!!!! god bless you for posting your story on here. You have no idea how this helped me knowing we are not alone and it is so inspiring. I hope your life gets cleaned up to the fullest extent! we did nothing but try to take a child in and give the child the best life possible and for that we get a nightmare. Our hearts are black now and we have no faith left to do good to help people. Thank you for your story!!

  6. Daph says:

    My son was wrongfully accused. We have spent the last 20 months and $33,500 for attorneys proving that it was not him. The mother cheated on her husband for 3 years with various ambulance, fire and police depatment individuals while my son babysat for her three kids—my son was 12 years old!!! He was 20 when the “girl” had a “memory” after attending a sexual education class at school. Thanks to having the ability to hire the best attorney in the state of Connecticut, and having great documentation of dates, work history and physical evidence to refute the “girls” description of certain body parts, all charges were dismissed by the Superior Court. We then had to hire another attorney to deal with the DCF case. In the end, we just got the five page document from DCF stating that there was no way it was my son, and the mother subjected her daughter to countless men and male babysitters over the years. They are still investigating the mother.

    Our lives have been hell the last 20 months!!! There has to be a way to sue this monster of a slut mother who guided her daughters statement. It is unfair that we are out so much money just to prove it was not my son.

    If anyone else is having any success at restitution I am interested in information.

  7. says:

    I cannot believe how a false accusation can send a innocent man to prison, my family member has been accused of abusing my daughter but I will never forgive the county and the detective for making him lose his job he at the moment is fighting this case in jail at the moment but god is right behind us and truthfully my ex has pulled this move to get custody of my daughter, Im so upset in how my family member is in jail due to accusations… WOW. this hurts me dearly and I will fight for my family member to the end because I know he didnt do nothing .to hurt a innocent girl

  8. shattered life says:

    I feel that a part of me is now dead and so does my husband. Just very recently my 15y.o daughter called the police herself and accused my husband (who has been my daughters dad since she was 6wks old) Of sexual abuse. The police took her away and has since question hubby about the allegations. My husband can prove that during certain times he was suppose to be touching her, he was actually at work. Please reasure me that this could help save my husband. I don’t understand why my daughter would do this. She has in the past told lie after lie, go behind our back and do outrageous things for attention. But doing something like this is beyond heartbreaking. Any supportive comments would be so appreciated.

  9. a haskew says:

    I have to say that it is true no evidence is needed. I even proved I wasn’t even in The country. Faceing 2 first degrees which the charge of first degree didn’t even reflect what I was accussed of. Which was exposing myself in my house 8 years prior. With no evidence numerous witnesses on my behalf and proof I wasn’t even in the country I still was being held. I had to go with a public defender. I took a lie detector that I demanded and didn’t fail. After 9 months still sitting in jail I was offered a class A Mis. Which I was told to take or I would lose in trial because the conviction rate is so high in a mormon state. My charge ended up being may have seen my buttox , pubic hair or genitals and it may have alarmed her. Now I have to register for 10 yrs. I have completly lost respect in the justice system. I have served my country 17 yrs and it just kills me inside that this can happen.

  10. kathy says:

    My boyfriend of 16yrs who has raised all 4 my of my children including my youngest who is now 17. Raised her since she was in diapers. Now 17 yrs later always a xcellent student, very popular, pretty, active in school &u definately not shy. Feb., 7 2012 i found out about a underground party sbe planned on goin to. Bcuz she didnt get her way & couldnt go, she ran away. 2 days later she went to school & told them my boyfriend molested her. Long story short. I havent seen nor talked to her in 10skool montbs. Xcept sbe would txt me if she needed money. My other 2day oldest children believe he is innocent. & she is liying. Now being away all these montbs she came back bcuz she got caught doin drugs &u stealing & lying so my sister braught her home. She is now w/a family friend & just laughs @ my face wen i see her. We are $30,000.00 + into our attorney. Her story keeps changing everytime the D.A., asks
    Questions. His family hates me & people who know us treat me differently cuz shes my daughter & we dont have kids together. He says he still loves me regardless & forgives her.

    her. I dont know what to do anymore.. im lost for words & empty inside. Its so so
    good hard. Especially living in the same niegbbkrhood for 12u yrs

  11. Crystal says:

    My boyfriend has been accused of molesting his 9 yr old daughter. His trial is next week,and I have to testify because his daughter claims that i was there when it happened along with her twin brother and 17 year old brother. It is causing our relationship to fall apart. His ex wife has made 9 other CPS claims which have all been proven false. His ex will stop at nothing to keep his children away from him. I’m terrified of testifying, and I’m terrified that he will lose in court because the ex has had over 9 months to coach the little girl. Any advice?

  12. Achayo says:

    my mother was assaulted, and both of us where falsely accused by the perpetrator over an assault case,that could have not cause me stress atoll because our power of operation has limitation, where, we have got responsibility to control what we think, feel and act. But we can’t control how or what people can think about us, our constitution have defined clearly the responsibility of the investigation officer, although people sometime are tricky, we were not arrested because of what the accuser said, but because the investigation officer have neglected his responsibility.
    i would like to say that many innocent people are suffering in imprison, yet the criminal are bossing freely outside, my accuser demanded to discontinue the trail, after all that i have gone through. one year without finalizing the trial, who can really tell me how he/ she felt for the first time that he/she was arrested? i can not express exactly how i was feeling, but our enemies are only Satan, otherwise revenging would have been the best option.

  13. Tara says:

    I have a family member that is going threw this very thing at this moment as i was reading your story, and i was kinda disappointed in how you ended the story, cause this started to give me hope that some people that are falsely accused of a crime so honorably. there is hope for the truth be brought out and them freed. but to be honest, i feel like these children that are out here accusing people of these false allegiances should have to face some kind of consequences, i know have 3 kids at home and i know if i ever find out that they ever do something like this to someone in life no matter there age, i will find a way for them to face the consequences to lieing, that is why i teach them right from wrong now and the severity of such a crime is, you know what could happen to a person when its said that it happened, but i also incurage them that if it was to ever happen to speak up and not stay quiet about it but don’t say it just cause your mad at someone or can’t have your way at the moment that you want it. thanks for sharing your story.

  14. Nikki says:

    my husband was falsely accused last year by my youngest daughter from a previous marriage.the police and social workers called me a bad mom cause i didnt believe her.they had no physical evidence just statements but according to them my husband was a monster. I have recently found out that my ex and the social worker were having a sexual relationship at the time of the investigation. What the hell right? Now i have found out that she has admitted to lying about the abuse because she wanted to live with her father. Now i got to figure out how to get them to listen to her story since she recanted and hope they will drop charges on my husband. I lost my kids my job my home and my husband because of these outrageous accusations! I hope that people will listen and understand that children will lie and cheat to get what they want!

  15. Brian says:

    I was falsely accused of sexual abuse against my daughter. I was arrested on two counts of aggravated sexual abuse, but the charges were dropped before I even had a court. I am so grateful for that, but my life feels like its over. I was able to still gain joint physical and legal custody of my kids, which is so awesome, I relish the time I get with them, but I’m scared to even give my little 4year old daughter a hug and kiss now. I miss her and my son so much. I spent about $30,000 on defense and divorce lawyers and the did really well for me, but I still cant see me ever being the person I used to be. I wish I could take action against the arresting police department and the accuser but, I dont know if its possible.

    ***Edited by IWFA Blog to remove identifying information.

    • Stacey says:

      My husband was falsely accused of sexual assault. I knew it couldn’t be true. I was interrogated by police for 5 hours concerning my knowledge of the supposed event. I kept saying that I didn’t know anything, over and over. They asked me what kind of a pathetic woman sides with a rapist. It was horrible and degrading. I too wish I could seek legal retribution against the accuser and the police. My life was hell for nearly two years.

      • Kara says:

        My boyfriend was actually accused of this as well. He is currently going through this actually. I was going to ask the writer of this site for advice. But I think you would be of more help.

        Like yourself, I know he is innocent. I know the person who is accusing him personally. And I know her character is no good. However ever since he was arrested and released on bail he changed so much.

        He was usually a cheerful guy, always happy, always making jokes. He always was involved with volunteering and supporting his community.

        But now since this happened, he cries really easily. He is scared of all women except myself. He hates to talk about it, which is understandable. He is extremely sensitive all the time. He cant sleep unless he takes pills.

        He even had thoughts of suicide A LOT. And he thinks everyone that is sticking by him right now, is better off with him dead.

        How would you suggest I help him? Would he ever be his normal self again?

        I hope you can help me out with whatever advice you have.

        Thank you

      • Jane Smith says:

        How did you all handle the public scrutiny? What got you through all of this? We are going through something similar as well. Thank you

    • stephen mccardell says:

      You can. It comes down to a civil lawsuit. The accuser could and very well should have been charged with making a false police statement. These charges can be just as serious, as far as years punishable by, as the accusations against the accused. Secondly, remembering OJ Simpson, even though OJ was acquitted of all charges pertaining to murder, he still lost against his wife’s parents in a wrongful death lawsuit. You can take the accuser to court and sue them for numerous reasons. This process can be very expensive and lengthy depending on the accuser and their funds. When it comes to something like this documentation and an attorney are the winning factors. If you are seeking revenge than you are barking up a phone pole; it’s pointless. BUT if you are seeking retribution and compensation for money and time lost then go for it. Get your documentations and expense reports together first. Figure out how much you are seeking and go to an attorney. By all means add his/her fees to the lawsuit.

    • jaime says:

      im in a big mess my girlfriends mother is mom is obsessed with my kids we i heard putting stuff on my older 4 year old child that iv touch her,cause I’m sure they want take custody i don’t know what to do some pointer will be greatly appreciate it

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